Parents’ Page

Myth #1: All disabilities are visible. 

Not all disabilities are visible. 

Some people have emotional and learning differences that you cannot see. Others have differences which you can see, such as someone in a wheelchair. All human beings are born with differences, some differences are seem by society has disabilities. 

Myth #2: All people with disabilities are the same. 

Not all individuals have the same type of disability. For example, learning disability is different from physical disability. Not all people with the same disability are the same. For example, two children with autism. Two children with autism may have different kinds of learning needs and abilities. Their upbringings, experiences, abilities, and how far along the autistic spectrum they are at, makes them different from one another 

Myth #3: People with disabilities are to be pitied. 

People with disabilities do not need pity. Pity is not productive. Support is productive. So is love and positive encouragement. They do not need to be told that they are brave or courageous for living with a disability. They need opportunities to become the best they can be and full participants within the community. 

Myth #4: People with disabilities are helpless. 

Most children and young people with a disability want opportunities to be independent and have control over their own lives. They want to be able to look after themselves as much as they can rather than be looked after. 

Myth #5: People with disabilities are sick. 

A disability is not necessarily a sickness. Many people with disabilities are healthy and free of disease. Mistaking a disability for sickness carries on the negative assumptions that the person can and should be cured. 

Myth #6: Disabilities only affect children. Adults grow out of disabilities. 

For individual born with disability, most will continue throughout their lifespan. Most people do not grow out of their disabilities. Often by adulthood, people have found ways to use their strengths to adapt and accommodate to their special needs. Some disabilities are acquired during youth and adulthood from unfortunate accidents or health issue. For example, car accidents or a person who suffered a stroke. 

Myth #7: People with a physical disability are dumb and cannot learn. 

Just because a child has a physical disability does not mean that he/she cannot learn. Just because a child has difficulty speaking to you, it does not mean that she/he has difficulty in understanding what you say. They can learn as well or better than someone without disability. 

Myth #8: People with learning disabilities are stupid and retarded. 

People with learning disabilities range from average to gifted intellectually. Many may function as if they have below average intelligence because their learning needs are being overlooked by parents and school system. People with learning disabilities can learn and succeed. It takes proper recognition, encouragements, supports, and lots of hard work. 

Myth #9: Learning disability is just an excuse for lazy, unmotivated, and irresponsible people. 

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Learning disability is not caused by character flaws, but due to neurological impairments 

brain’s ability to receive and process information. And people with learning disabilities, including children, process information differently. They have a different way of learning, or remembering. For some, it is very hard to learn visually, or they forget things easily, or they may write their letters backwards, or they cannot remember how the letter is written or what it is called. With the right support, they can learn as well or better than a person without disability. 

Myth #10: Learning disabilities are only school-related. They do not affect other areas of a person’s life. 

Many people with learning disabilities also have difficulties in social setting. For example, they may have difficulties reading body language and subtle language cues. They may not differentiate between sounds and words, and this may cause difficulties in their daily activities. 

Myth #11: All people with disabilities have trouble hearing. 

There is no need to yell or raise your voice when speaking to a child or youth who is blind, in a wheelchair, or have some other sort of physical disability. Speak in a normal tone of voice unless they ask you to speak louder. 

Myth #12: A child with disabilities is God’s way of punishing the parents. 

All children are God’s children. All children can be both exciting and exhausting, but it may seem that your child with a disability is especially so. Children are children. They are all treasures, although challenging at times, they are never punishments. Nurture your child’s strengths and gifts. Even though they may struggle in one area, they may excel in another. Pay attention to his/her interests and passion. Helping them develop their passions and strengths may help them with those areas of difficulties. 

Myth #13: Never ask questions about a person’s disability. 

People can ask questions with respect about a person’s disability, so that the disability becomes less mystical and fearsome. Do not assume they need help, ask them. 

Myth #14: People with disability should be hidden away and should not be visible in the community. 

Just because someone has a disability, it does not mean that they do not have abilities. Many children and young people have talents and abilities that other people might not have. However, they do need supports from their community and their families to accept them for who they are 

and help them integrate into the society. They should not be hidden, and that they do have something to offer. 

Source: 

http://www.ftmeade.army.mil/pages/eeo/dis myths.pdf 

http://www.disabilitymuseum.org/dhm/edu/essay.html?id=24 

http://www.vapa.org.au/openingdoors/disabilities/common_myths.php 

Emotional Issues 

Many parents are shocked when they first find out that their child has a disability. The experience itself can produce overwhelming emotions of shock, disbelief, anxiety, fear, and despair. Some may even ask questions of “why me” and conclude that they are being punished for sins or bad behaviours of their past. Depending on the severity of the disability and the magnitude of the demand for care and coping, a few parents may even wish for the death of their child or themselves. For a few parents, retreating, accompanied by an attempt to hide the child, especially from social interactions, may be a sign of the shame that comes after accepting the fact their child has a disability. However, these behaviours and demonstrations of isolation of your child because of his/her disability must be prevented or eliminated. Until the parents can cope with their own pain and frustrations about their child’s disability, they will not be able to fully direct their energies toward understanding the child’s disability or providing appropriate care for them.